Everyone on your list already has a mug. Here is a better idea: a candle, a soap or a room spray named for a criminal charge, with a suspect description written like a police blotter that gets read out loud at the gift exchange.

Every Presumed Innoscent scent is hand-poured in small batches in Falls Church, Virginia. Candles are 100% American-grown soy wax with a cotton wick, and nearly every scent also comes as wax melts, a room and fabric spray, soap or lotion. All the suspects are fictional. No real cases or victims are on our labels.

Shop by budget

Under $10 (stocking stuffers and white elephant)

• Mugshot Matchbooks, $1
• 6-piece wax melts, $5. Flame-free, 5 to 10 hours of fragrance per cube in a warmer.
• Oatmeal and shea soap bars, $6
• 3 oz candles and 4 oz room sprays, $8

More like these in stocking stuffers under $15.

$10 to $25 (the real gift)

• Aloe and shea lotion, $12
• 6.5 oz candle, $14 (about 40 hours)
• 8 oz room and fabric spray, $14
• 11 oz candle, $24 (about 70 hours)

The $50 case file (free shipping)

Free shipping on orders of $50 or more through December. One easy way to get there with a single scent: Shoplifting in an 11 oz candle ($24), an 8 oz room spray ($14), a soap bar ($6), wax melts ($5) and a matchbook ($1). That is $50 exactly, and the whole bundle smells like peppermint and vanilla.

Shop by person

• The lawyer or law student: match the charge to the practice. Embezzlement or Money Laundering for the white-collar team, Adultery for family law, Piracy for the IP group, Treason for government work. See gifts for lawyers and our guide by practice area.
• The cop, detective or dispatcher: Disturbing the Peace for patrol and dispatch, Failure to Appear for the warrant squad. See gifts for police and law enforcement and our guide by unit.
• The firefighter, EMT or paramedic: Arson, obviously. See gifts for firefighters and first responders. Police, fire, EMS and 911 get 15% off.
• The accountant or CPA: Embezzlement (mango, pineapple and sandalwood) or Money Laundering (fresh linen). See gifts for accountants.
• The true crime fan: Serial Killing smells like Fruit Loops, which is somehow worse. See true crime gifts and our gift guide for podcast fans.
• The new grad or bar exam taker: law school graduation and bar exam gifts.
• The host, the coworker or the white elephant exchange: pick a holiday scent. Shoplifting is peppermint, vanilla and cream. Trespassing is Fraser fir, cypress and cedar. Indecent Exposure is mulled cider. See holiday candles and gifts.

No open flames? No problem.

Stations, dispatch centers, offices and dorms often ban candles. Wax melts (with a warmer), room and fabric sprays, soaps and lotions give the same scent with no flame.

Shipping and timing

Orders usually leave within 0 to 2 business days, and free shipping applies to orders of $50 or more through December. Last day to order for Christmas delivery: December 18.

Buying for a firm, a department or a whole team?

We make bulk and custom orders for law firms, departments, unions, associations, fundraisers and raffles. Tell us what you need and when on the Bulk and Custom Orders page.

Quick answers

Is this making light of crime? The jokes are about hapless fictional suspects. There are no real cases and no real victims on our labels.

What are the candles made of? 100% American-grown soy wax, a cotton wick and premium fragrance oils. They're vegan, phthalate-free and paraben-free.

How long do they burn? About 18 hours for the 3 oz, 40 hours for the 6.5 oz and 70 hours for the 11 oz.

Can I return a gift? All sales are final, so it's worth picking the scent with care. Not sure? Wax melts at $5 are a low-risk way to try one.

Tags

funny gifts gift guide holiday gifts stocking stuffers

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