Soaps

Hand-poured in small batches in Falls Church VA, using a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, our soap bars invites you to indulge in a little mischief.

Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter.

Offered for bail by Presumed Innoscent (IG: @Presumed.Innoscent)

11 products

  • Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Piracy Soap Bar

    Notes: Ozone, Sea Salt, Eucalyptus, Sandalwood, Dark Musk Suspect Description: Apprehended aboard “The Reel Booty” after downloading and distributing thousands of illicit copies of the latest movies. Suspect has several defining features - wooden peg leg, hook for right hand, and an eye patch. Hand-poured in small batches, this natural moisturizing soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Safe for sensitive skin - full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Treason Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Treason Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Treason Soap Bar

    Notes: Blood Orange, Grapefruit, Mandarin Suspect Description: Arrested following an investigation into activities deemed contrary to national interests. Suspect was surprised to learn that attempting to overthrow the government is an act of Treason. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar

    Notes: Lavender, Lemon, Vanilla, Amber, Musk Suspect Description: Suspect taken into custody after reportedly turning a quiet evening into an unsolicited street performance. Nearby officers arrived during the first act, resulting in an early curtain call. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Adultery Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Adultery Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Adultery Soap Bar

    Notes: Vanilla, Amber, Jasmine, Patchouli, Musk, Coconut Suspect Description: Male, mid-40s, caught creeping home at dawn with lipstick on his collar and a whiff of perfume no husband should be wearing. Currently starring in a fault-based divorce. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Smuggling Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Smuggling Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Smuggling Soap Bar

    Notes: Sandalwood, Citrus, Spices, Tobacco, Cedar Suspect Description: Suspect was found near the loading docks carrying a large amount of unreported cargo. After attempting to explain he was "just the delivery guy", officers were unconvinced and completed the arrest without incident. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Serial Killing Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Serial Killing Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Serial Killing Soap Bar

    Notes: Fruit Loops (Lemon, Cake, and other fruits) Suspect Description: Neighbors describe the suspect as quiet, except for the late-night sound of power tools and classical music. His hobby list reportedly includes "collecting souvenirs" and smiling a little too fondly when asked about them. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Shoplifting Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Shoplifting Soap Bar

    Notes: Peppermint, Vanilla, Cream Suspect Description: Defendant argued charges should be dropped because all goods in question were intended as gifts. In the spirit of the holidays, the judge only sentenced her to community service. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Witchcraft Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Witchcraft Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Witchcraft Soap Bar

    Notes: Apple, Fir, Juniper, Cedar, Moss, Ozone, Iced Gingersnap Suspect Description: Officers found suspect behind an old storefront, muttering unintelligible phrases over a cauldron - something about toil and trouble. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Entrapment Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Entrapment Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Entrapment Soap Bar

    Notes: Lemon, Cinnamon, Cream, Clove, Vanilla Suspect Description: He didn’t bite—he was baited. One minute, he’s minding his own business, the next, he's enticed with an offer too good to refuse. Now he’s walking out of court with that smug little half-grin, freshly absolved and legally untouchable. Not guilty by reason of getting played. The jury laughed, the judge sighed, and somewhere a fed is updating their training manual. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Money Laundering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Money Laundering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Money Laundering Soap Bar

    Notes: Fresh Linen, Citrus, Clean Cotton Suspect Description: Suspect was apprehended after a quiet trail of scrubbed ledgers led investigators to their door. He insists it was simple bookkeeping, but the numbers told a cleaner story than truth ever could. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Breaking and Entering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Breaking and Entering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Breaking and Entering Soap Bar

    Notes: Snickerdoodle (Cinnamon, Butter, Vanilla, Sugar, Honey, Cream) Suspect Description: Caught red-handed, suspect explained the crowbar was his "emotional support tool" and insisted he was only breaking in because Zillow said the house was "open concept." Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

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