Soaps

Hand-poured in small batches in Falls Church VA, using a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, our soap bars invites you to indulge in a little mischief.

Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter.

Offered for bail by Presumed Innoscent (IG: @Presumed.Innoscent)

10 products

  • Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Piracy Soap Bar

    Notes: Ozone, Sea Salt, Eucalyptus, Sandalwood, Dark Musk Suspect Description: Apprehended aboard “The Reel Booty” after downloading and distributing thousands of illicit copies of the latest movies. Suspect has several defining features - wooden peg leg, hook for right hand, and an eye patch. Hand-poured in small batches, this natural moisturizing soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Safe for sensitive skin - full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Treason Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Treason Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Treason Soap Bar

    Notes: Blood Orange, Grapefruit, Mandarin Suspect Description: Arrested following an investigation into activities deemed contrary to national interests. Suspect was surprised to learn that attempting to overthrow the government is an act of Treason. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Disturbing the Peace Soap Bar

    Notes: Lavender, Lemon, Vanilla, Amber, Musk Suspect Description: Suspect taken into custody after reportedly turning a quiet evening into an unsolicited street performance. Nearby officers arrived during the first act, resulting in an early curtain call. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Adultery Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Adultery Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Adultery Soap Bar

    Notes: Vanilla, Amber, Jasmine, Patchouli, Musk, Coconut Suspect Description: Male, mid-40s, caught creeping home at dawn with lipstick on his collar and a whiff of perfume no husband should be wearing. Currently starring in a fault-based divorce. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Smuggling Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Smuggling Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Smuggling Soap Bar

    Notes: Sandalwood, Citrus, Spices, Tobacco, Cedar Suspect Description: Suspect was found near the loading docks carrying a large amount of unreported cargo. After attempting to explain he was "just the delivery guy", officers were unconvinced and completed the arrest without incident. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Serial Killing Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Serial Killing Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Serial Killing Soap Bar

    Notes: Fruit Loops (Lemon, Cake, and other fruits) Suspect Description: Neighbors describe the suspect as quiet, except for the late-night sound of power tools and classical music. His hobby list reportedly includes "collecting souvenirs" and smiling a little too fondly when asked about them. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Shoplifting Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Shoplifting Soap Bar

    Notes: Peppermint, Vanilla, Cream Suspect Description: Defendant argued charges should be dropped because all goods in question were intended as gifts. In the spirit of the holidays, the judge only sentenced her to community service. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Witchcraft Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Witchcraft Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Witchcraft Soap Bar

    Notes: Apple, Fir, Juniper, Cedar, Moss, Ozone, Iced Gingersnap Suspect Description: Officers found suspect behind an old storefront, muttering unintelligible phrases over a cauldron - something about toil and trouble. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Money Laundering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Money Laundering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Money Laundering Soap Bar

    Notes: Fresh Linen, Citrus, Clean Cotton Suspect Description: Suspect was apprehended after a quiet trail of scrubbed ledgers led investigators to their door. He insists it was simple bookkeeping, but the numbers told a cleaner story than truth ever could. Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

  • Breaking and Entering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent Breaking and Entering Soap Bar - Presumed Innoscent

    Breaking and Entering Soap Bar

    Notes: Snickerdoodle (Cinnamon, Butter, Vanilla, Sugar, Honey, Cream) Suspect Description: Caught red-handed, suspect explained the crowbar was his "emotional support tool" and insisted he was only breaking in because Zillow said the house was "open concept." Hand-poured in small batches from a blend of natural oatmeal and restorative shea butter, this soap invites you to indulge in a little mischief. Contains suspended oatmeal that exfoliates the skin plus the skin-loving properties of shea butter. Full ingredient list of soap base can be found here: LINK

    $6.00

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